Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Momma

I got a call Saturday from the place mom stays at. I was informed in no uncertain terms that Lance and I were going to go visit her Sunday. There, of course, was no argument. We spent a good five hours with her and it was wonderful. I know she sick and there's a good chance she wont be with us much longer, but she was more alive for those five hours than I've seen her be in a long time and I loved it. She joked with me, wanted to hear stories I remembered from growing up that she had long forgotten, even told Lance that he was to marry me. He got to see how mom used to be. It's only a mere shadow of the woman I remember from growing up, but it was enough. He's grown quite fond of her. Our weekends are now to be devoted to her. As soon as I get out of classes we are to jump in the truck and spend Saturday and Sunday with her. Of course, I would love nothing more, but this was his decision, I didn't have suggest it. I think that after three years he's finally realized that he's been with me long enough that it doesn't matter how much he wants to fight it, he's part of the family. He's starting to slowly accept that fact. He adores my nieces and nephews just as much as I do and is starting to learn the different personalities of my many sisters and brother in laws. He's even starting to get the couples right! Hahaha! It's taken a while, but I think he really does realize that I'm not going to go anywhere and my family will love and accept him too. It's a big step for him. Mom likes him too. She says that any man who loves me she will like, but I think he gets along better with her than she wants to admit. He likes her sense of humor and he can take the zingers she delivers well. The visit was wonderful for the most part. There were a few moments, however, that put a real damper on the whole thing for me. Lance had to take a call from his little brother and left me in the room with mom alone. I'm not sure what made her say it or think of it but she informed me that when she passed they would call me first so I could come take out her feeding tube. I think my stomach dropped into my toes. It was like someone threw a rock right between my eyes and I couldn't see straight for a few minutes. I'm not sure if they have to have a family member take the tube out or if that's something she wants me to do personally because... I don't know... because I'm me? I don't like to think about the day I get that call, no matter how much I know it's coming. There's no avoiding it at this point, I know that as well as any one else, but I still don't want to think about it. She also asked me to make sure that if people want to leave flowers on her grave that they be plastic and pretty so they last longer than real flowers. I love that she can say it so calmly though. She's not afraid, at least not as far as I can tell. I think, when you've lived with a disease like MS for as long as she has you can't fear the inevitable. She's always been a strong woman, despite her body. She asked a few other things of me, but I think I'll keep those private for now, until I have time to think them through and figure out a way to accomplish the goals she has set before me. I will do what she has asked though, one way or another. I wish I could spend every waking hour with her, just to be with her and talk with her. She and I always used to talk when I was younger and took care of her. Losing her I will definitely be losing the best friend I've ever had. She's been the best mother, teacher, friend and confidant a person could ask for. I only hope that I can be half of the woman she is.

Aside from that, I've been busy with school too. The High Honors list is a bit out of reach for me this quarter, thanks to college math 1. There was a whole section that left me scratching my head like a monkey and looking like Naomi when she first wakes up in the morning. (Sorry Nomo, low blow, I know, but you know the look I'm talking about) Next quarter should be a bit easier. One of my classes is Composition. Writing. English.... muahahahahaha. I've already got a few of the guys in my program asking for extra help in there. They do well with numbers, for which I use them as tutors, and I do well with words. It's a fair trade.

So, there ya go. A nice update on what's going on in Marandaland. Ta Da! I do hope everyone is doing well and enjoyed their Valentines day. Until next time. :)

3 comments:

Naomi Johnson said...

love the comment about me... sad but true. I am sitting in a training class at 10:24 pm and that is the look I have right now too.. I will be here till midnight and start my day tomorrow at bright 7:30 am. I am definitely in the "zone" Love ya sis. I miss mom so much too. I wish I could be there too. You have to call me one of the weekends you are there. I need an interpreter so I can talk to her too!

Brown Family said...

I love the Naomi look!! It is a classic family memory! I'm not sure why Mom thinks that they aren't going to take the feeding tube out? I'm pretty sure all plastic parts will be removed! She has always had a crazy wacky sense of humor, which we all get from her! It breaks my heart that our kids didn't get to know her when she was movin' more! We all love her though!

Ponczoch Family said...

I'm glad that you are able to spend your weekends with your mom. She is an amazing woman. And so are you.